The Order of Grimnir
by Corporal Maladict
Summary: Long before the Überwald League of Temperance came into existence, the misfit vampires of the Order of Grimnir fought a lonely guerrilla war against things the people of Überwald took for granted. Femslash, Margolotta/Maladicta.
1. Guest

Lady Margolotta – five feet eleven inches in her spike-decorated high heeled boots, revealingly cut velvet gown, and about four pounds of ruby-encrusted jewelry – was the very image of an evil vampire overlord. Of course, at the moment she ruled only a certain area in Überwald, but that would change…

… sipped from a glass of human blood, and smiled. She walked down the stairs from the elevated dining area, hips swinging, long black hair flowing behind her, and studied the captive, who was being held up by two vampire warriors. The captive appeared a young man, bleeding from multiple wounds, clearly on the brink of unconsciousness.

Lady Margolotta smiled. "The Order of Grimnir? Really, the things you kids come up with! So there was a vampire queen who didn't drink blood? What then? She was a vicious tyrant who impaled her enemies!"

The captive raised his head. The black hair had escaped from its ponytail, and hung loose, like silken curtains around his head.

"That is… not… the point. The point is, she did it. She gave up the… addiction. It can be given up. It can be… exchanged… for something… less harmful."

Lady Margolotta took something from her purse. A silver box of cigarettes. She held one as if she were smoking it, but didn't light it.

"These wouldn't happen to be yours, would they? Tell me your name, and you can have one."

The captive vampire groaned. "Maladict." He breathed.

Margolotta raised an eyebrow. "I've heard of you. Maladict Griminirzi. Well well well. I didn't expect to be entertaining royalty." She spoke to the warriors: "Release him. He is my guest."

She handed Maladict the cigarette and lit it for him. Maladict's hands trembled as he inhaled the smoke. "What do you want, Lady Margolotta?" He asked. His whole demeanour had changed in an instant. Now he seemed in charge, composed, vibrant with energy. The injuries were healing before Margolotta's eyes.

Margolotta narrowed her eyes. "The question is what you want… Griminirzi. Little is known about you. Missing heir of Lancre. You killed Count de Magpyr three times. You steal captives from my dungeons. You make sport of hunting werewolves. You have enemies everywhere you go, and you delight in making more. What do you want?" She sipped from her glass of blood again.

Maladict's hand knocked off the glass from her hand. It shattered on the floor. "I want you to give it up. I want you to quit drinking blood. I want that for every vampire. We can overcome our base nature. We can rise to a higher state of existence. We can…"

At that point, Lady Margolotta's long fingernails dug deep into his throat and her hand strangled him. "You dare… in my own castle… you dare mock me? They won't be able to find even ashes when I'm done with you… …you…" She leaned closer. Something wasn't right, the neck wasn't the right shape, and a certain bulge was missing… and the scent… yes, definitely. She let go, curiosity overcoming anger. "You are a female?"

Maladicta rubbed her neck. "Yes."

"How come I didn't notice sooner?" Margolotta inquired.

"You weren't meant to notice. It is a most carefully constructed disguise." Maladicta answered, sounding a bit smug.

"Well… this changes things." Margolotta allowed herself a small smile.

Maladicta picked up the cigarette from where it had fallen and puffed on it until it ignited again. "It does? And why is that?" She asked.

"Well… let us just say that I am intrigued. It is not often that people manage to surprise me. Why the disguise? Why not just be yourself?" Margolotta asked.

Maladicta leaned against a pillar. "And what makes you think the disguise is not my self? I am more myself in trousers than I ever was in underwired dresses."

"I see." Margolotta stepped closer. Her scent was that of blood and night-blooming flowers. "And how about… out of trousers?" Her hand cupped Maladicta's cheek. "I am a woman of the world, young one. I have seen much in my time."

Maladicta grinned. "'Lips that touch ichor shall not touch mine'. That is one of our songs. Dreadful, like most vampire poetry. Still, I must say I approve of the sentiment. Adieu, ma demoiselle." She evaporated, slipping away as a gray mist that was slightly scented with tobacco.

Margolotta swore under her breath. Her heel ground the butt of the cigarette into the floor with surprising vehemence.

Notes: This story takes place about 50 years before the events in 'Monstrous Regiment'. At this time, there are no Black Ribboner vampires. Instead, the Order of Grimnir, a forerunner of the Überwald League of Temperance, is fighting a lonely guerrilla war against – well, everyone, more or less.

Lady Margolotta is very much evil and bloodthirsty in this point of history. As we know, she had been a Black Ribboner for three years in the time of 'Fifth Elephant.' So the Margolotta in this story is your classic evil vampire, although a whole lot smarter.

As to Maladict/Maladicta, well, in my storyline she gave up blood once in exchange for cigarettes, then lapsed into her old ways, then gave it up again and became the coffee addict we all know and love.


	2. Airtight

Maladicta materialized again in the top room of a tower. She tried the lock in the door, then the locks in the shutters that covered the windows. All of them held fast and there was no crack whatsoever, no slightest slit where air – or a vampire turned into mist – could pass through. And it was the same everywhere. The entire castle was airtight.

And what was worse, her clothes did not follow her when she changed shape. So she was now naked, and it was only a matter of time until someone would catch her.

Maladicta considered her options. She turned into mist again. Then she went to the laundry room of the castle. There, she resumed her own shape. She pulled on the clothes of a maidservant, covering her pointed ears with a scarf. She walked upstairs and stole a pair of shoes someone had left outside their bedroom door for the servants to clean and polish.

Thus dressed, Maladicta walked to where two vampire soldiers stood guard inside the door of the main hall. "Hello, handsome boys", her voice purred, as she walked towards them, hips swinging. Maladicta didn't have much in the way of hips, but what she had she could swing like a champion.

She stood very close to the younger soldier. "My, my, what a big sword you have."

The boy stared at her. "Listen, lass, we're not allowed to socialize while on guard."

The older vampire kicked him. "Don't talk to her. Can't you smell it? She is one of us."

Maladicta swore under her breath. They seemed more intelligent than could be expected of men so low in the pecking order. "That's right, darlings… I bite back." She allowed the dress to slide off her shoulder, as she grinned at them.

A voice spoke, echoing across the hallway.

"Getting desperate, are we? Come here, Griminirzi." Lady Margolotta stood there, dressed in a few bits of black leather that covered only the most intimate details of her anatomy. There were a lot of buckles, some spikes, long straps, and a whip in her hand.

Maladicta swore, louder this time. She backed away from Margolotta, pretending to be frightened, then grabbed the sword from the young soldier, and attacked Margolotta head-on.

Margolotta swung the whip. It caught around Maladicta's arm, stopping her movement.

"And now that I have your full attention… I advise you to surrender. It will go the worse for you if you fight me." Margolotta told her.

Maladicta kicked her.

Margolotta's hand caught Maladicta's foot.

She was left holding an empty boot. Maladicta's knife cut through the whip, releasing her arm.

Margolotta snarled. She lunged to attack.

Maladicta raised the sword in defense.

At this point, the older of the two soldiers knocked her unconscious with a large decorative vase.

When Maladicta woke, she was in a cell. There was a bump on her head, and she was wearing the clothes she had worn while entering the castle. She searched through her pockets, but couldn't find any of her concealed weapons and tools.

The door to the cell opened, and a body was thrown in. The door closed again.

The body on the floor stood up a bit shakily. "Please sir… good sir…" It was a girl, a frightened human girl, maybe fifteen years of age. She was wearing a nightgown that left little to the imagination.

"Calm down, child. I don't intend you any harm." Maladicta assured her.

The girl stared at her, and then sat in the pile of straw on the opposite side of the cell.

"I'm not a child." She pouted.

"Sorry. My name is Maladict." Maladicta decided that since she was dressed as a man, she would act as one.

The girl smiled shyly. "I'm Charlotte. I'm seventeen next month. Are you really a vampire?"

Maladicta nodded. "Yes. But I've given up blood."

Charlotte frowned. "Really?"

Maladicta smiled. "Yes. I'm addicted to tobacco instead."

Charlotte's frown deepened. "Did they give you any tobacco?"

Maladicta stared at her. "No… no they didn't… the bastards." She hit the wall with her fist, causing some damage to her fist and none whatsoever to the wall.

Charlotte began playing with the straw. After a while Maladicta realized she was weaving them together to make a flat surface. She stood up. "No need for that. You can have the bed."

Charlotte walked to the bed, keeping a good distance between herself and Maladicta. She lay down and covered herself with the filthy blanket. "Mr Maladict… tell me a story." She said in a childlike voice.

Maladict leaned against the wall. She began telling the girl the story of Queen Grimnir of Lancre. It was perhaps not the most comforting bedtime story, considering how much violence said queen had committed, but Charlotte didn't complain. The story took her thoughts away from her current trouble, that was the main thing.


End file.
